Dear Mother Nature,
Over the last few years, I have written you on a few occasions asking for you to reconsider your position in regards to our weather woes. It was apparent during the soggy month of last Spring that you were not really interested in listening. Then came this Winter, and I was positive that you had seen the error of your ways and as a peace offering, you blessed us with a mild season, free of snow and ice. I was overjoyed!
So I find myself again, writing to you to ask for consideration. Quite frankly, I'm melting. The $1500 worth of shrubs and flowers we planted in the yard this Spring are dying and the grass is a very unattractive shade of brown. The dogs have no more fur to shed. The local pools are boiling and I actually think the AC unit outside sighed at me this morning. It just can't work any harder.
If you can find it in your heart, please shed a tear for us...we could really use the rain. And enough with the record setting heat. I don't know anyone that doesn't feel like their skin is on fire at 105 degrees. We won't even address the humidity and heat index. I'm not asking for snow, just a little more seasonable temperature so we can actually go to the lake with spontaneously combusting. If not, I'm considering moving to Hades...it must be cooler there.
Sincerely,
Hot and Bothered in Cincinnati
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