I've been sitting here tonight, feeling a little low as we faced Hunter's last night before heading off to Ohio State to begin yet another years adventures. I was certain that this time would be easier...boy was I wrong. So what to do when you need a little pick me up? Find others to commiserate with.
In my search to confirm that I wasn't the only parent on the planet that felt like life was changing again, I ran across a blog with Tips on Sending Your Child to College. Bingo! There must be something there, a hidden gem, that would make me (and Hunter) feel a little better. So I started reading...and laughing. Maybe we're both going to be ok after all.
Tip #1 - Think about your parting words.
Parting words? I usually just cry. Now I won't have time to cry because I'll be thinking (way to much) about my parting words. I guess they think I should part with something more eloquent than "Use a condom" or "Make your bed occasionally". Crap, I'm really going to have to work on this one.
Tip #2 - Know that your lives will change.
Really? I'm so thankful that someone pointed that out. They starting changing when he learned to drive. Now I have to mow the lawn, take the trash out and get my own stuff when it's in another room. Heck, was it really necessary to list this as a tip?
Tip #3 - You won't be able to wait for them to come home (or leave).
Ok, so this one is true. But again, it started years before he left for college. I know they're referring to living with an adult. One who eats on his own schedule, no longer sets an alarm and doesn't need you to help them through their day. But I have to disagree with the leave part...I don't think you ever wait for that.
Tip #4 - Don't change your childs room. That is their "home base".
Oh no! I've already blown that one. Hunters room, aka the spare bedroom, has already seen the traces of him disappear. And what about Will? Am I really supposed to leave that huge bonus room just the way he left it? I've already measured it for a new sewing table, craft shelves and a kiln. I guess home base will have to be the living room. Anyway, are we really trying to encourage them to move back?
Tip #5 - When a problem arises, move like your feet are stuck in molasses.
No worries there. That's how I tackle most problems. I'm sure there are helicopter parents out there that swoop in to fix the world...but that's not me. I'm more of a listen to the problem, make a suggestion or two and then don't answer the phone for a couple of days until the problem is corrected kind of mom. He's an adult.
Tip #6 - Don't expect the same grades in college that they got in high school.
Ummmm, no. High school was a job, just like college. I don't expect perfection, but I do expect effort. And in reality, I can't even see his grades. Did I mention he's an adult?
Those were the tips...and by my estimation, we're doing ok. Will it be a sad day? Not really. It'll be a little quieter when we get home, the dogs will mope for a few days and I'll clean his room (aka the spare bedroom) as we have a guest arriving on Friday. He'll jump in with both feet, have a wonderful time, take chances and make a few mistakes. But at forty, I'm still doing the same thing.
So here's my tips on sending your child off to college....
Enjoy. Enjoy the ups, the downs, the moments they're home and the moments their away. Show them that life is about change and the strongest people handle it with grace. Encourage them to get involved and lead by example by getting involved in something new. Hug them a little tighter when they leave and know that the best is still ahead.
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